SO, I had my first workout in a while with Paul! And it feels.....PAINFUL! I was SO nervous when I walked back into the gym yesterday evening to train. I was literally shaking. I don't know why, just intimidated again. But once Paul and I got started, it was a happy, familiar feeling. I felt like I had accomplished something difficult. And Paul was very encouraging and made it doable. I was cussing his name this morning when I got out of bed though. I am SORE! Although it makes me feel like I worked hard.
I am so happy and appreciative to be back in the gym, even if it does hurt!
I will be taking new measurements on Tuesday, and also taking my blood pressure, to make sure that I am still running good numbers.
Marethouse Mama is BACK!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Finishing what I started...
It has been a while, in fact it has been months. I am sure that by now I have lost my blog audience completely! But initially I started the blog for myself and to keep me on track and it spiraled into something I did not expect. The blog helped me journal my thoughts and feelings during this journey....and I am not finished! This time last year I was 40 pounds heavier....and I intend to lose the last 40-50 and reach my goal. The last couple of months I have struggled, like so many of us in real life...something happens to set us back and then we never pick ourselves up and end up right back in the position (weight) we started at...if not weighing more. I have seen this cycle before. I have traveled this road and I have decided I have worked too hard and come too far to let this pattern reoccur. If I write about it, admit to it out loud, it helps me feel accountable to get back on the wagon, keep going, and finish what I started.
A few months ago, as I have talked about previously, my boss lost his fight with cancer. It affected me more than I could ever imagine. Being at his bedside the last weeks of his life and watching him literally die...was something I have never faced in my life. He was one of the most caring, kind-hearted, and brilliant people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. And I do feel blessed to be one of the lucky ones that got to know and be touched by him. But after his passing, I sort of shut down...I slowly stopped working out as much...and slowly started to slip back into a disease I have fought most of my life, depression. Returning to work came with many more obstacles that ultimately lead me out of the gym. After not exercising for a few weeks, I found myself climbing deeper into my familiar past. Thankfully my husband stood by me, he supported me, and told me I needed to find a new job. He told me that I deserved to be happy again...
SO- after a long two months, I have accepted another position within the Health Science Center! And it is wonderful so far. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, it is exactly what I needed. Now....next step: START EXERCISING AGAIN!
Ryan and I both decided to get back into our healthy routines, we both agreed that is when we were the happiest. I went to the gym last week for the first time in a while. And I was extremely nervous to get back on that dreaded scale. But to my surprise, I had not gained any weight. I had not lost any weight either. Thanks to the Fitness Challenge, I have not completely gone back to my old ways, and even though I have not been exercising regularly, I have been able to maintain healthy eating habits for the most part.
So, I am happy again, motivated to finish this journey...
More to come from Marethouse Mama!!!
A few months ago, as I have talked about previously, my boss lost his fight with cancer. It affected me more than I could ever imagine. Being at his bedside the last weeks of his life and watching him literally die...was something I have never faced in my life. He was one of the most caring, kind-hearted, and brilliant people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. And I do feel blessed to be one of the lucky ones that got to know and be touched by him. But after his passing, I sort of shut down...I slowly stopped working out as much...and slowly started to slip back into a disease I have fought most of my life, depression. Returning to work came with many more obstacles that ultimately lead me out of the gym. After not exercising for a few weeks, I found myself climbing deeper into my familiar past. Thankfully my husband stood by me, he supported me, and told me I needed to find a new job. He told me that I deserved to be happy again...
SO- after a long two months, I have accepted another position within the Health Science Center! And it is wonderful so far. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, it is exactly what I needed. Now....next step: START EXERCISING AGAIN!
Ryan and I both decided to get back into our healthy routines, we both agreed that is when we were the happiest. I went to the gym last week for the first time in a while. And I was extremely nervous to get back on that dreaded scale. But to my surprise, I had not gained any weight. I had not lost any weight either. Thanks to the Fitness Challenge, I have not completely gone back to my old ways, and even though I have not been exercising regularly, I have been able to maintain healthy eating habits for the most part.
So, I am happy again, motivated to finish this journey...
More to come from Marethouse Mama!!!
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