Inspired Again

I started my day off yesterday still in a funk, and feeling frustrated with myself. I was nervous and anxious about my workout all day for some reason. When I arrived at the gym, Paul was already smirking, he was proud of himself for the torturous workout he had planned for me! I told him my frustrations and he assured me that I was doing very well. He said that he was pleased with my progress and very proud of my hard work. I have to admit, it did make me feel better.
After warming up on the elliptical, we started off with push ups and pull downs. I was already feeling winded and my heart rate was up! Paul grabbed four orange cones and said lets go outside. My heart sunk! Nothing good could come out of cones...or outside! I followed him fearing the worst, he set up the four cones in a line, 20 yards apart. We did 5 or 6 drills that included side lunges, jumping, running backwards, skipping, and sprinting. Yes...I said sprinting! I'm sure I looked absolutely ridiculous trying to accomplish these drills. Not only have I never been "athletic", I have NEVER attempted to sprint anywhere in my life, not that my attempt to sprint yesterday was very impressive! It kicked my butt to say the very least! Paul laughed because for the first time I was speechless (I couldn't breathe!). Although I would not say that I enjoyed that torture, it was a nice change of pace and it did make me feel very good after I was finished. I felt like I worked very hard, and it felt like I accomplished something I thought I could never do. But just when I thought the torture was over for the day....
We proceeded inside and ran stairs (8 times!). And if that wasn't bad enough....we finished up with another tough ab workout. Wheeeewwww. I made it!
The last three or four workouts have been extremely tough. Paul knows how to push me hard! After starting the day off in a funk, I definitely felt so much better. I was drenched in sweat and felt like I had accomplished a great workout. This experience so far has already had its ups and downs, and we are just getting started. I am already showing major improvement in my strength and stamina, and I hope to only get stronger and stronger. For the last few years I have neglected myself. I am always worried about taking care of everything else, and didn't realize in the mean time, my health, self worth and self esteem were diminishing. It is such a new and wonderful feeling to be doing something for ME. To hear people say they are proud of me, to see how much support I am receiving from my family and friends is phenomenal. I not only needed this physically, but I needed this just as much mentally. I am no longer just Ryan's wife or Charlie's mom, I am doing something just for me! I feel like it has brought my husband and I closer as well. He is so proud of me for working so hard, and not giving up. And I am so overwhelmed by his support. We are working more as a team and our family is running smoother because of it. The benefits are endless on this journey...and I am going to continue to push hard and give it my all.

Unfortunately I did not get in my 5 am workout, Ryan had an early meeting, so I will get in my cardio this evening to make up for it. I plan to get in my morning and evening workout tomorrow and I plan to be in the gym both days this weekend too. Who am I?!
I'm feeling inspired again and I want to WIN!