Worst Workout EVER!

OK....so I have contemplated blogging about this experience. But I figured, maybe one day in the far distant future I will be able to look back on yesterday and laugh. I am not ready yet....but I think I owe it to my loyal blog readers to have a good chuckle at my expense. SO if you are having a bad day, sit back and relax ---this is sure to make you smile.
Let me start by going off on a tangent (which my husband will tell you I am GREAT at), and explain my major issues with wearing shorts. I NEVER wear shorts, I dream of wearing shorts in the future, but it is one of my issues. I have fat knees (which is another issue and tangent all together) not to mention cellulite, fat thighs, calves, bottom line...ugly legs. And I am a freak and am terrified of wearing shorts. If you know me, this is no revelation.
Having said that...yesterday was wednesday and Paul and I train outside on wednesdays and it was VERY hot yesterday. SO, I decided after stressing and thinking and much deliberation that I would face my fear and bite the bullet and wear shorts...traumatizing. I mean, after all it was just Paul and I outside, the whole gym wouldn't be looking at me...I was going to do it, and I would surely live through the experience. I have been tanning so you know what they say "tan fat is better than white fat". Right? OK, I did it, I showed up for my work out in shorts. Paul was very nice and said that he could tell that I have lost a lot of weight. So I began to relax and we went outside to train. Well, of course....my luck, David (Marethouse) decides to video everyone yesterday and follows Paul and I outside to VIDEO tape me....in SHORTS. Ok, I took deep breaths and tried not to freak out. THEN Paul decides to start off with sprints and Squat JUMPS. For those of you who are loyal readers, you know I CAN'T JUMP! So, let's review...video of me in SHORTS doing JUMPS. OK....so I thought it couldn't get any worse than that, right? WRONG. David leaves after catching the flattering footage of me trying to jump in shorts and says that he will be back in a few minutes to get some more footage. Great. I proceed with my workout. I am mid sprint or lunge or something and I feel my stomach completely cramp up. (***STOP READING OR CLOSE YOUR EYES IF YOU ARE A MALE AND READING THIS***) So, yes...my monthly female friend decided to hit me like a ton of bricks in the middle of my workout. Of course, I didn't say anything to Paul, because I didn't want to gross him out or freak him out or all of the above. So I sucked it up and tried to finish the workout. So let's review again...video of me in shorts, jumping, and starting my period. Can't get ANY worse, right? WRONG. At this point, Paul is asking me, what's wrong? I think he could tell I was hurting (sucking at my workout). I said nothing, I am just tired. So we pushed on. That is when the boot camp came outside to warm-up right beside us. Let me rephrase that, that is when the skinny blondes in tank tops came outside with their trainers to warm up next to us. Awesome! And who else decides to come back out for round 2? DAVID. With the video camera in hand. I am breathing deep (gasping for air) and tired, and hurting, and wearing shorts, with and audience of skinny blondes in tank tops. Paul explains the next drill to me which includes, lunges, sprints, side strattle steps....so I begin. I am hustling trying to get through as fast as I can as well as impress my large audience. This is when I ATE IT!!! Thats right ladies and gentleman...I fell, HARD....I think the ground shook. On camera, in front of the skinny blondes in tank tops, wearing my shorts. Paul quickly helped me up, laughing, and said....its okay Ashley. He knew I was humiliated. I fake laughed it off...finished up my workout, went home and took some midol and went to bed. Worst Workout EVER.

Motivating Moments during the worst workout ever (by Paul):

"It's not a squat jump when you don't squat before you jump...."

"We are not going to get any work done laying on the ground...." (this was after the big FALL)

The good news is, I made it to the gym this morning at 5am by the grace of God. And I plan to pick Charlie up and walk to the park and run around this afternoon for more cardio. I will have the 2nd to last "weigh in" in the morning.....please say lots of prayers. And I hope that I can black yesterday out forever!